TRUMP SAYS MEDIA DOESN’T GET HIM

Washington,DC August 14, 2016
“I will ban them all when I’m elected. They just don’t get how popular I am and how much you folks love me. They harp on and on about nothing really. Nothing any of us care about anyway. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know you do. It really irks me though, especially the failing New York Times. They call that reporting? C’mon. Come out to my rallies. See what the people respond to. They respond to me and my messages about me. I’m who they want to see and I’m willing to expose my most inner self to them at all times. I’m about honesty. I can’t help myself. The truth about me and what I am and what I do and what I want and what I have just flows like water from my lips. I mean who knows me best? Me or the media? Me. I know me best. I am in the best position to tell my story my way. I’m the one who is in control of me. I say what I think and it’s better than what other people especially the media think or say or do. I have all the information that needs to be distributed so they can save time and stop investigating and researching, just ask me and I’ll tell them whatever they want to know. No secrets, nothing to hide everything out in the open for all to see. Clear, crisp and fully under the microscope – I truly have nothing to hide. I’m an open book. Stop digging up stuff on me that no one and I mean no one wants to know about. Instead, just ask me and I’ll lay it out for you neat and tidy. If I am elected that is the way information will be distributed anyway. The old fashioned press conference in that little room is over. This is the digital age. I can tweet in my sleep. You really think I’m going to put on a suit and stand in that little room like a stooge for you to question like I’m on trial? How’d you ever get those other leaders to do that, anyway? Some leaders. Don’t bother driving over to the White House. Just follow me on Twitter and you’ll have all the info you need. You can submit any questions you have electronically and we’ll get to appropriate questions as we can. I’ll put together everything you need to know and save everyone time. As a truth-teller I can do that and better than anyone. Trust me. If I do take office there will be no press access to the White House. It’s a time waster and really out of date. I’ll be working on behalf of the American people and they don’t want me kowtowing to reporters and such when I could be negotiating deals and restoring America to greatness. So all you media types can just sit in your offices and cancel your travel budgets cause if I have anything to say, I’ll reach out to you. Until then write about the latest recipes, fashion and sports. Politics will be handled appropriately for once so you’d be wasting your time anyway. Besides, my strategy is to keep most things secret. And what I don’t keep secret will be layered with disinformation. Also to keep people off-balance I will say one thing and do another to really bring my unpredictability to a new level. I’ll mostly be acting on the political stage for the consumption of our enemies. All information, even basic Secret info will be strict need to know and broken into small components that five or more individuals carry separately. Then under certain circumstances they can be brought together to reconstitute the messages. See, my ability to keep a secret is more sophisticated than you thought. I’m also good at distraction and misdirection which should help keep our enemies off-balance for sure.” —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS NOT CRAZY

Ashburn, VA August 2, 2016
“I’m not crazy. She’s the devil, not me. She’s the one you should be looking at for testing. Get the demons out of Hillary, not me. I can control mine. I’m likely the sanest man on the planet. I’m very successful. I have a mansion and a yacht. Is anyone more successful than me? Not really. My head is screwed on straight. I’ve got it together. I’m my own man and build big things all over. People hire my company to consult. Do you usually pay millions of dollars to someone who is unstable? Stability is what I’m paid for. Keeping things on the up and up. On the straight and narrow. In a pigs eye I’m nuts. They’re nuttier than a fruitcake. Get my wallet from my jacket, I’ll show you who’s crazy. Here look do you see a business card from my shrink? See no shrink. I’m probably like the number one sanest person on this continent. Could I lend my name to developers if my name was no good? I beat all comers fair and square like I always do. Hillary should be committed not me. I take some meds to stay level, does she? Maybe the media should focus on Hillary’s stability not mine. I’m fully covered by my health plan and get all the medication I need. Nobody sleeps 4 hours and flies around like me. I’m everywhere. I don’t care if they legalize pot in Colorado or wherever. That’s not my prime concern. I got bigger fish to fry. There are a lot of Republicans that haven’t heard the last of me either. Drugs or no drugs I’ll take a medical test or drug test or whatever. Bring it on. I’m mentally competent. I’m the #1 most mentally competent man in the country. Nobody is more stable, even-tempered and likable than me. People form crowds wherever I go. People like me. I’m likable. Like me or don’t and I’ll return the favor at some point believe me. Get in line but be ready for blowback losers. I don’t let it roll off my back like water off a duck. I keep records. And remember insanity is not a plea or a defense, it’s just a state of mind if you can comprehend my stream of consciousness dynamic earthbound rhetorical diatribes with love and comfort but not the enemy cause that’s Hillary not me and whatever’s got a grip on her from inside get it out.” —slater.com©

CRUZ SAYS TO VOTE FOR HIM ANYWAY

Cleveland, OH July 21, 2016
“Vote your heart for freedom. Hear the bell of the people ringing and pull the lever with my name on it or write me in for the love of country. You know in your heart that only I can espouse and then execute on true conservative principles. Not Donald Trump or his thoughtless minions. It has to be me. I’m still available as a write-in. Use your voting power to send a message to Donald and his followers that we will not move. We will not be shaken. We will not change our positions for the convenience of the moment. Fly the Cruz flag next to the Stars and Stripes proudly. And if somehow I don’t get enough write-in votes to ascend to the Presidency and Hillary is elected then I can always try again in 2020. Remember I’m all about you and the USA not self-centered like the Donald. Vote your conscience fellow citizens.” —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS SENATOR FLAKE FROM AZ. WILL NOT BE RE-ELECTED

Washington DC July 7, 2016
“I told Senator Flake, you’ve been very critical of me. I noticed what he said and I told him in no uncertain terms that he will NOT be re-elected. No way. I remember Saddam having a similar meeting with politicians in Iraq. At some point during the meeting Saddam signaled for his goons to remove several attendees. They were never heard from again. Now don’t get me wrong. He was a bad man. But I can’t help but think that he got some respect from the rest of that audience, right? He knew how to work a room. Get it done. Now I’m not a bad man. So I can’t do anything exactly like that. But a boy can dream, right? I mean if you think about moving forward with our plans, we need to get up to speed quick, not dawdle. I’m not a dawdler. I move and move quick. These boys better learn and learn fast. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Right? There’s probably some way to water down Saddam’s methods and still get results. I just gotta find it”. —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS BREXIT GREAT FOR MY BUSINESSES

Edinburgh Scotland June 26, 2016
“This is great for me. I will make boatloads of money off of this decision and I think I was instrumental in guiding the Brits to this outcome. That is what you call true leadership. And yes I have my own self interest at heart. You don’t? There is really not much of a difference between the interests of the US and my personal holdings. Not the way I see it anyway. You’ve got to get up in the morning and take what’s truly yours if you want it like I do. Dream big dreams and don’t let anyone stand in your way. I told my fellow Scotsman to get on board or be left behind. Now some of these losers are buried under tons of dirt. At least their precious views are anyway. Play ball with me and I may throw a few crumbs your way. Act like my Scottish neighbors and I can leave your house sitting in the dark behind a 20 foot wall. They fought me and they lost. Losers loose. Read my books. So there are a lot of crybabies in Scotland right now who wasted their time fighting against me. But I cut the ribbon and launched one of the most beautiful courses anyway. Now they lost and their property is way down in value and they are behind a mountain of Trump dirt which they can stare at until they come to their senses and sell to me which is inevitable because winners win. It wouldn’t surprise me if Scotland ultimately joins up with the US after they break away from the UK and become a territory of the US. I’m not expansionist mind you but we have a lot to offer under my stewardship and I look forward to forming alliances with many willing partners during my terms”. —slater.com©

TRUMP DENIES THAT HE WILL SELECT HIMSELF AS VP

New York, NY June 19, 2016
“No, I will not choose myself as VP. If I’m President I cannot also be VP. I know this. What I was overheard saying was I’d like someone exactly like me and barring that I’m not sure that I will pick anyone at all. What that means is I may go it alone. I don’t know why it is necessary to have a shadow President in the wings. If something were to happen the Speaker of the House would become President, so we’re covered anyway. Many great leaders in the Middle East, Africa, Italy, Germany and throughout the world did not choose a second as it were. They made great strides in their countries and I don’t know of any reason why I can’t do the same for America”. —slater.com©

TRUMP TELLS RYAN AND REPUBLICAN LEADERS TO SHUT UP

New York, NY June 16,2016
“They better mind their manners. If little Pauly don’t shut his pie hole, I’ll run without them. I’m not sure if it will be the Trump party or some other thing but I’m the leader of the Republicans now and if they don’t heave to I’ll find people who will. Y’know I don’t need a single one of those losers. Today loser McCain is stealing my line about Obama being responsible for the Orlando mess. But it was my idea about Obama. Where was he for the last few years while I was out on the campaign trail informing the ignorant and uneducated masses? Losers. Losers lose, I tell you. Always. They have no right to call themselves Republicans, not even Prince Reibus the so called party head. Please. He’s with me one day and against me the next. That’s not leadership and I can do without him and easily. These guys are an anchor holding me back. Just shut up and let me be me. The workers party needs to get to work and quick. Little Paulie Ryan is spouting his mouth off about separate but equal powers. He doesn’t get it. That’s where the gridlock comes from. He’s part of it. I’m the roto-rooter guy and only I can snake out the lines and flush all the congestion from the system. But they’ve got to get behind me, everything I stand for and everything that I say. We must move as one. For the last time, zip it while I’m outside the beltway because after I move in you pathetic losers will wish you did.” —slater.com©

TRUMP WONDERS ABOUT OBAMAS LOYALTY TO USA

New York, NY June 15, 2016
“No I don’t think he sold the gun to that nut in Orlando, but I wonder about things. Y’know people are saying all my innuendo and hypothesizing is off base. But I really wonder what’s going on. I mean was he even born here. Some say he went to school as a child in Malaysia. I mean if you were born in the US would you attend school in another country? I wouldn’t. And he won’t say things that I want him to say in a specific phraseology. Why not? Do his off-country bosses prohibit such speech? Could he have been involved in the Florida disaster in some way? You’d have to ask him. But whatever he says, can we believe it? I mean is he credible if we don’t know if he’s really American? I sure don’t know. Maybe nobody does. Fortunately whoever he is and whoever he’s working for he’s scheduled to leave in a matter of months. But it’s a head-scratcher isn’t it? Who is he really and what is he up to? Who is he working for? If you elect me at least none of these type of questions will need to be raised. I’m red, white and true blue like the flag.” —slater.com©

TRUMP REVOKES WASHINGTON POST PRESS CREDENTIALS

New York, NY June 14,2016
“I had to do it. They weren’t playing fair. I’m the only one who can do this. If there’s one thing I stand for it’s the truth. On this everybody is in agreement. Truth is paramount to my entire makeup. After all, without truth what do our words really mean? Think about it and give thanks that a truth-teller is in this race for leader of the free world. The Washington Post has irked me like nobody’s business so I’m pulling my invites and barring them at the door to my exclusive events. The reason so many people fight to get in to see me is that air of complete exclusivity. I’m not always in town. Catch my act when you can. Don’t miss it. It’ll be a party, you can count on that, my friends. But don’t expect to see Jeff Bezos’ Washington Post operatives milling around the press corral cause I’m closing the barn door before they even get in. I won’t have to say get ’em out of here cause they won’t even be allowed in to start with. Bye Washington Post and I’m sure gonna check to see if any of my staff has been ordering from Amazon too. That’s just another Jeff Bezos tool that I need to look into. Did amazon stock and promote my red hats? My ties? My water and my steaks? Or did they bury my products where nobody could see them and highlight Hillarys merchandise instead? Look, until the Washington Post gets with the program and starts to align their thinking with reality, I will continue the ban even if I’m elected President including Press Conferences.” —slater.com©

TRUMP SAYS NOT RACIST

New York, NY June 7, 2016
“I’m not a racist. I really don’t even know exactly what that means. And I don’t think anyone else does either. I’m a purist. I like easy to understand things. I understand that I may have insulted Mexicans with my wall idea. That’s why I think the judge is ruling against me. He’s the racist. It’s my race that wants a wall and he’s against me and my race and my wall. Think about that instead of always accusing me of being a bigot and prejudiced. Remember everyone of my fellow Republican opponents asked me to back down from one position or another. Where are they today? I’m no racist by the way. More than 66% of my wives were not born in the USA. That means that 4/5 of my children are first generation Americans like the Indiana judge. My mother was not born in the USA so even an all american apple pie patriot like I am is the child of an immigrant. That proves I’m not a racist. Is Hillary a first generation American like me and most of my wives and kids? Think about that people. Maybe I’m the immigrant leader. The immigrant prototype. I’m the hero of the oppressed people who are yearning to breathe free. I want them to come here and follow my lead. I’m not the one against them. I’m one of them and the most real and genuine foreigner lover you’re likely to meet.” —slater.com©